this is not the end.
well, i hate to have to tell you all that we got the worst news of our lives but it is true. claire’s brain development is more abnormal than we thought and we still have no answers for her future- only that a “normal” outcome looks less likely than before. her brain tissue is thin, meaning she does not have as much brain as a typical infant does; there is no pressure in the extra fluid in her ventricles, meaning her brain is not thin b/c of pressure from the fluid so a shunt will not help; and lastly her EEG showed very abnormal brain waves especially in the left side. she has been having mild seizure-like behaviors for the past couple weeks but they were not detected on the EEG, this doesn’t mean she is not having seizures though. we are starting her on an anti-seizure medicine hoping that this will help the neurons in her brain behave more normally, but it is not guaranteed to work. we are also faced with the fact that her head size may swell and she will need brain fluid to be drained if the ventricles do not stop growing or the opposite- her thin, unhealthy brain tissue may stop growing and lead to a small head size. we pray that seizure medicine will help, her brain will mature and learn to communicate more effectively and her physical development will be completely normal.
are we devastated? yes. are we angry? yes. but are we giving up? never. claire is still the same beautiful, lovable miracle that she has always been. this new information does not change that. we will never stop fighting for her and working hard to find ways to help her reach her full potential- whatever that may be. we grieve for the dreams we have lost, but we will have to find new dreams for claire and still embrace the joy that she brings to our lives. this is the hardest thing we have ever faced, beyond any imagination and expectation but claire deserves all the love, patience, dedication and comfort that we can give her.